I have fallen in the dick sand… AGAIN

We are only in April and this year has not been a stellar one for me in the romance department and I have final realise why… I am constantly falling in the dicksand and I am making the same mistake over and over again. 

 

I am sure we have all been there, you meet someone like and within a click of your fingers you are liking the same things they are and forgetting who you are as a person. I have always thought that I have had a Jekyll and Hyde personality – part of me wanted to be wifed up and the other part of me just wanted to party. But maybe this isn’t me? Am I so scared of being alone that I don’t actually know who I am? I moved to London to find myself and it has been a series of heart breaks and hangovers. 

 

I met a guy in February at a party, straight away I knew I liked him. He brought the fun side out of me. I changed the music I liked, started worrying about my weight, wearing my hair differently and being paranoid about my style. I was trying to create his perfect girl. At this point, there was no going back. I would have done anything he wanted me to do and I did. I was never the kind of girl who fucked in public places but for the past 2 months that was me. 

 

Because of the fact I lost myself as a person, I started falling for the Cat String Concept – a psychological technique that men use to make women fall for them. To start off with they show you interest and treat you like the only girl in the world and then slowly pull away. Men love the chase and when the girl gets hold of the string, it is no fun anymore and he drops you and saunters away. The romance loses its intensity, he becomes distance. 

 

So now, what am I? Alone, sex less and have no idea who I am or what to wear tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, it is so much fun playing the different roles but this isn’t sustainable for the long run. 

 

XOXO

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